I'm a Naked Bearrrrrr

So why doesn't this bear have hair? Not because it has some incurable disease or is shedding his winter coat, it's because we fucking shaved him like a man's pubic hair to fur our new kitchen! Yup we found that bear hair nicely complimented our human skin wall to wall flooring. No big deal. If you too want to be as stupidly awesome as Amber Renae, drop us a line and we'll hook your iron labia up!

XXOXX

AR

virgin chest hair

Since Hutch worships our business, and all that is Amber Renae, He's constantly trying to find ways in which to mark his territory. We've been having complaints that after phresh installation of FYW he often lifts his leg and pisses on our master piece. We're all for pissing in public but Hutch's urine reeks of one night stand and hippo dick.

Your friend Amber Renae has come up with a perfect solution for all parties.

Usually this includes skinning Hutch for his man fur in a tribute to his love of FYW. Instead, we've had Hutch growing his FBMF (Full Body Man Fur) for our personal brand of fur. This is only offered annually as it takes Hutch a full 12 months to develop a luscious coat fit for your wall art. Yesterday we drugged and sheared Hutch like a sheep, creating your new living room conversation starter.

Here are some before and after pics of Hutch.

Please address Orders to Hutch at Furyowall@gmail.com

!!!Upper Pussy Fur at No extra charge!!!

FUR YO WALLS

xoxo

Safe Sex with Amber Renae

We here at FYW know how horny you motherfuckers are after furring your walls and taking heaps of ecstacy and we fully support that. What we don't support are BABIES and WORTS on your dick-vagina so here are some tips from an expert on safe sexytimes.

1. Condoms are balloons and balloons are meant for clowns not your dicks so unless you're banging a clown, which I highly advise against, leave that shit with your big shoes and red nose.

2. Pulling out is RETARDED unless you like making a sticky gooey mess. Yes, like breaking eggs and pouring maple syrup on them on the floor. Stupid right?

3. Abstinence is for fucking religious queers. However, we at FYW do like things tight like virginity.

4. Who the fuck can remember to take pill every day that doesn't get you high? NOT ME!

5. Oral is gross and a fucking waste of time!

6. The ONLY safe way to do the horizontal polka is to BELLYBUTTON FUCK. Pretty simple really, dick--> bellybutton (only works with innies. if you have an outie, go kill yourself). That's it!

No need to thank us, we're just doing our part to save the world. One bellybutton fuck at a time.

Wishing you cream filled surprises,

Amber Renae

Sponsored by Fur Yo Walls

We OWN dis Bitch...

We bought her on discount from Chris Brown.

Amber's Dictionary

For those of you that aren't in the know... Amber has written a special "fur yo walls" glossary of terms

Rape: r-ape/ like you know....everyday activity/I raped the grocery store today./I raped the bathroom floor.

Casual[ly]: cas-U-ally/term used when saying...or doing something ultra aggressive and or inappropriate/I raped your boyfriend casually./I killed someone casually.

Aggressive[ly]: a-ggres-ive/ To do something to the maxxx and or with intense passion./Her dance was so aggressive./I aggressively studied for my midterm./She aggressively put the tree on his car.

Hate: H-8/Universal ereday term for everything./I hate you./What's for dinner? A bucket of hate.

Phresh: f-resh/To be clean and new, like douching./This fur sample is so phresh./I found a phresh new place to chill./That food ain't so phresh.

One Night Stand: 1-nite-only/ A series of cocktails made to rock one night only, that will never be seen again, goes down smooth, regret instantly in the morning. (also to be followed by pregnancy testing)./Amber and I made a one night stand and can't remember the last 2 days and 45 mins./Renae has been arrested for soliciting sex after a one night stand.

Thin Crust: T-C/A person who lacks aggressiveness, rape skills, and ability to hold zeblood. Often referred to as "pussy"./You're too thin crust to party with us./Thin Crust shouldn't go to muay thai, they'll probably get hurt.

Smoking Meth[Loudly]: smok-in-meth/Getting it on (loudly). Not to be confused with rape/Amber renae loves to smoke meth when no one is home./Smoking Meth always pisses off the neighbours.

Control: Con-troll(NOT OK)/To be held back, to restrict in any way. Any form of regulation in any situation./You can't control this./THE ONLY RULE IS IT'S NOT OK TO CONTROL THIS.

D.P.: Dee-Pee/ Double penetration. NOT display pic(ture)./ When I DP you, you'll be crying with pleasure and pain, not changing your fucking facebook picture.

HippoDick: HIPpo-dick/ To kill someone/ I hippo dicked that mothafuck who owed my a donut

HippoDick: Hippo-dick/ hippopotamus gentalia

HippoDick: HIPPo-dick/ To suck a giant wang/ Woah that guy has a hippo dick, it was so hard to put in my mouth

HD: Ech Dee/ Hippo Dick abbreviation, contrary to popular belief it is not "High Definition" (I'll show you fuck HIGH DEF!)

Blow Job(noun) Blew(verb past-tense): Blooo-jobb, blu/ To roll into a party (preferable thrown by someone you don't know), break shit, talk smack, fall on the floor, impress all the guests, take a jacuzzi bath, put a christmas tree on a car and leave in a firey rage/ Usually followed by vomiting in a McDonald's drive through/ We totally blew Hutch's party last night, fuck.

FU%$#R A Lesson In Censorship

When to be inappropriate:

1. Late nights

2. Early mornings, especially when you are hungover/still drunk and driving around town

3. After drinking your weight in zeblood and/or snorting your weight in brown-brown*

*An amazing concoction consisting of high-grade cocaine and gun powder that causes people to go nuts.

4. While promoting FYW

5. When trying to be controlled

6. On public transit (duh)

When not to be:

1. At work (gots to pay child support for reals)

2. In front of your homies parents

Following these simple rules and regulations will guarantee happiness and prosperity in your life on this planet and beyond.

A picture says a thousand words

I just found this and I thought it was a picture explanation of what FUR YO WALLS represents.

riiigggggghhttt???

keep it tight,

Amber ReNae xoxo

Phresh Skin

Now that we're back to work, Amber Renae has found it hard to focus. Since I've escaped from the pen, I've become some what famous. Please forgive me for not replying to the THOUSANDS of fan mail. I can't keep up with the insanity of sexual admiration that's been bestowed on my furry bits.

To keep up with these recent developments of shear popularity, I've hired a personal assistant.

I'd like to introduce you to HUTCH. He has been large part of the fur yo walls family from the start.

Hutch was my former Pool Boy/sex toy. His role was to tend to my every need such as, stealing my morning coffee from the neighbourhood yuppie to cleaning my booze filled vomit off my imaginary dog. He has recently been promoted to my personal fluffer. Don't be alarmed when your emails are answered without the same aggressiveness...he fucks on the daily and has no pent up aggression like your friend Amber Renae.

We promise to condition him into a fur tearing beast that will rip your eye out on command.

Fur Yo Walls because it's the right thing to do.

on with the show,

Amber ReNae xoxo

Me So Sorry! Me, Me, Me, So Sorry!

So mama did a bad thing. Actually, she did lots o' bad things. The police report for Amber Renae read a little something like this:

First degree rape

Felony drug trafficking- Meth, Heroine, Crack

Involuntary manslaughter (but secretly it was voluntary, shhhh!)

Grand theft auto

Harboring an illegal alien

Assualt with a deadly weapon (ninja sword)

As you can see, mama couldn't update the blog from the big house and my celly was contastly after my ass hole so I could never turn my tushie her way.

I apologize for any inconvenience or emotional distress this may have caused.

xoxo,

AR