We here at FYW know how horny you motherfuckers are after furring your walls and taking heaps of ecstacy and we fully support that. What we don't support are BABIES and WORTS on your dick-vagina so here are some tips from an expert on safe sexytimes.
1. Condoms are balloons and balloons are meant for clowns not your dicks so unless you're banging a clown, which I highly advise against, leave that shit with your big shoes and red nose.
2. Pulling out is RETARDED unless you like making a sticky gooey mess. Yes, like breaking eggs and pouring maple syrup on them on the floor. Stupid right?
3. Abstinence is for fucking religious queers. However, we at FYW do like things tight like virginity.
4. Who the fuck can remember to take pill every day that doesn't get you high? NOT ME!
5. Oral is gross and a fucking waste of time!
6. The ONLY safe way to do the horizontal polka is to BELLYBUTTON FUCK. Pretty simple really, dick--> bellybutton (only works with innies. if you have an outie, go kill yourself). That's it!
No need to thank us, we're just doing our part to save the world. One bellybutton fuck at a time.
Wishing you cream filled surprises,
Amber Renae
You are a weirdo!
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